What happens when you start something new?

In a previous post, I talked about all the things that could be going on after an interview. So what happens if you land the job?

The grief of letting go

When you accept a new job, you are setting aside whatever came before. You might be saying goodbye to colleagues and a large part of your daily routine. There can be grief in all of those things.

What do you do to notice that grief and handle it in a way that makes sense for you? Is there something you need to do to acknowledge the closure of relationships, or to take steps to stay connected with certain people once you're no longer working together? In that case, it's important to make time during your exit plans or in the time after you leave for those goodbyes and ongoing connections. By being mindful of the time it takes to work on those relationships shifts, you'll reduce the chance of overwhelming yourself with extra social commitments on top of everything else happening during this transition.

Once you give your notice, you'll likely have tasks to complete to wrap up existing projects or prepare them to be handed off to others. One thing to watch out for is a drive to do everything possible to set your former colleagues up to cope with losing a member of the team. This may be driven by a sense of guilt at leaving them short-handed, or a sense of loss from not being able to see the completion of work that you've been dedicated to. Whatever your reason, check in with yourself to confirm the rationale for what appears on your to-do list for your exit. Documenting information or introducing key contacts to one another are important to help with continuity. But trying to complete a long-running project in the scant weeks before your exit is a recipe for exhaustion. There's a balance to strike - you may want to tie up as many loose ends as possible, but you should also recognize that whoever takes over the work will also have to make it their own. In that case, it is worthwhile to ask your manager or the person taking over the work what they need from you for the handoff. Do they need you to rush through the last few design meetings? Or is that better handled by the incoming person as a way of onboarding to the project? Should you do all the final code reviews, or is that better done by someone else staying on the project? Having honest conversations about desire outcomes, and getting comfortable with the idea that in your absence they'll have to figure things out in their own way, can help remove the burden of trying to move mountains before you leave.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Choosing to say yes to the job isn't where decision-making stops. Once you start the new role, you'll have a plethora of tiny decisions to make each day as you onboard to your new role. Even mundane things like choosing which restaurant to go to or which cafeteria table to sit at for lunch are decisions and take brain power. Those small choices take place alongside the big things like deciding how to tackle all the onboarding tasks you'll be doing or putting extra thought into making decisions within the scope of your role that haven't become second nature yet. Recognizing that decisions can be fatiguing can help you have empathy for yourself when your brain feels like mush for the first few weeks (or longer!) of your new role.

Drinking from the firehose

Every organization has its own structure, language and social dynamics to learn. Every day may feel like you're inundated with more facts, new faces, and tidbits of social knowledge that you pick up from each conversation. Depending on your strengths, some of this might be easy to absorb. If you're a sponge for facts, then learning the org chart or all the corporate acronyms might be second-nature. If you're a social-connector, then learning new names might be your party trick. It can be invigorating to be in that learning mode - that's part of the appeal of a fresh start in a new role. But it also takes mental and emotional energy to integrate everything you learn, especially those things that don't come as easily to you like social dynamics or navigating the new corporate jargon. Again - recognizing that energy expenditure can help you give yourself grace to not try to pile on more than you can handle.

What can you do?

Acknowledging the effort of taking on a new job is one thing. But what can you do to support yourself during this transition?

Make space for rest

Be mindful of how you spend your time outside of work and aim for activities that maximize rest and recovery, at least for the first few weeks of this transition. If rest means going for coffee or on a date, do that. If rest means reading a book or doing yoga, do that. Consider getting to sleep earlier or allowing yourself to sleep in on weekends while you ride the wave of this transition. Do what is restful for you, and pay attention if it's helping or hindering your wellbeing.

Reduce decisions in other areas of your life

As mentioned above, decision-making can be a really fatiguing part of the transition. If possible, reduce the number of decisions you have to make in other areas of your life, or do a bit of pre-planning to batch up decisions. Rather than thinking about dinners every day, get pre-made meals, order your favorite takeout, or rely on recipes you can make on autopilot. Follow a workout plan rather than winging it at the gym. Plan your outfits for the week ahead. And grab books from your purchased-but-never-read-it backlog (many of you know what I'm taking about!) rather than hunting for the next read and to maximize relaxation time.

Ask for help!

While you're in transition, you can also lean on others for support. Let me say that again: While you're in transition, you can also lean on others for support.

Get ahead of it and speak to your partner or other friends and family about what help you need and what help they can provide as you transition to your new role. Or set aside some extra budget for a few high-impact supports - like extra childcare or a cleaner to help free up some time for your household to rest rather than doing housework.

You could also hand off responsibilities for volunteer work you're doing to someone else for the first few weeks of the new role. Maybe you swap chairing duties with someone for the next board meeting, or opt out of the fundraising event that coincides with your transition. Taking a pause to make space for the change you're undergoing can help prevent the sort of fatigue that leads to long-term disengagement from volunteer activities.

Remind yourself that this is temporary

Before you know it, a lot of the things that feel overwhelming in the first few weeks of a new role will fade into the background. That's not to say that everything will immediately feel second nature. You might still be in high gear for a while, but the things you'll be tackling will get more substantial and you'll take for granted the other stuff.

Check in periodically (every week? every few weeks? whatever cadence makes sense for you) to acknowledge what you've done and what it's preparing you to take on. You could even start writing down your accomplishments to help you remember and reflect on them. You've met a bunch of new people, learned even more acronyms and jargon, and you're delivering value in your new team. These efforts are a foundation for your success in your new role and reflecting on them can be a source of energy as you continue to adapt and grow.

If you're preparing for transition, I'd like to help. Coaching can be a supportive tool as you reflect on what you need going into a change, and address whatever comes up as you move through a transition. Book a Discovery Call to discuss how we can work together as you take on something new.